Online conversations about Andrew:
ME: (To L) Oh L:- I just talked to Andrew on the phone. Could you add some specifics? They have not gotten his prescription to dispense his anxiety and depression meds yet. He is in Coffee Creek intake for 4-6 weeks which is mostly lockdown in a cell for 21 hours a day. He is trying to be positive and strong. But the other inmates said he needs a paper with his charges printed when he goes to his permanent facility. Because sex offenders get beaten up in prison. He is not a sex offender. I sent him what I found on the I internet, but he hasn't gotten it. His attorney was a public defender and is not answering my calls. Please pray for patience, strength, faith and clarity as we attempt to navigate this system. Thank you!
L: The first thing you should remind him and yourself is that our God has not left him nor forsaken him. That God is there with him. Peace is found in God so reminding him to focus on God. Assessment is 30 days. It is common to be in the cell during the assessment period. It is a difficult time I will be praying for him. He shouldn't listen to the other inmates they will say all kinds of things. He should receive his paperwork. What was his final charge? That determines his custody level. I know this is a tough time for all of you but it will get better once he is placed in his permanent location. Prayers for him and your family!
ME: His final charge was attempted Assault Ok. A class C felony. He's starting to settle in a bit. He has trouble with anxiety and depression. He was taking Selexa and Trazedone but they don't have his Rx to dispense meds. I am going to try and call his doctor today but I know they don't give out info on patients. I've mailed his lawyer about his meds and getting a charge sheet. Finally yesterday u told him it all seems overwhelming and I know who we should ask for help. He was quiet for a moment and then said, "God?"
I told him nothing is impossible with God. And He has done amazing things. He won't abandon us now! (I was speaking for myself as well as my son!)
Thank you for this reminder. Our faith will be tested over the next year. But God never fails!!!💖💖💖
Blessings to you and thank you for your prayers!
L: The meds part is tough. The prisons are very slow with any meds. I will pray. You can call in to the prison. Washington St has a family resource person that you can call into. you can try https://www.oregon.gov/doc/Documents/friends-and-family-handbook.pdfw
ME: I got hold of "J", Andrew's attorney's assistant! I told him the court told me to call and that his charge sheet is really important. The other inmates say he is in danger if he doesn't have his paperwork on him. He said he's working on it right away. Andrew had just talked to him before I called. . I told him he also isn't getting his meds but Josh said they can't help with that. He said once the case is closed his attorney won't be helping him. But he will make sure he gets his paperwork. I thanked him and said if they got that done we wouldn't bug them anymore!
All of these conversations occurred this morning. I felt like I was making progress helping Andrew here from the outside. He has been very concerned about getting his paperwork. That is the subject of all of our conversations. Today he was very insistent. I am wondering if his anxiety has escalated from being off his meds and of course from BEING LOCKED IN A CELL 21 HOURS A DAY and not knowing where he will be sent or what his release date will be. Not to mention the other inmates telling him without his paperwork he will be beat up in prison!
I felt like at least getting his paperwork sent to him (or promised by the assistant to his attorney who is no longer his attorney), was a positive step forward.
NOT SO!
My daughter has forbid me to share all of this info in our little private messenger group. Apparently I am going overboard in my Mama Bear protecting baby bear son mode. I've been over thinking and over sharing.
I feel horrible. My son actually called from jail and told me to not tell his fiance all the details he is sharing with me. He is trying to be strong for her. They have a new born baby. She can't handle my intensity.
I felt really horrible. My daughter gave me that "I told you so" look as I listened to Andrew talk. He also said he has decided he does not need meds. He wants to remain clearheaded and is sleeping better.
OY
I packed up for my day at the library and the church service tonight. I shed a few tears as i walked. I was feeling sorry for myself. But my son was the one in jail. His fiance on her own with a baby for 13 months. I really should behave myself. My daughter said I was being selfish. But I thought finding out as my info as possible was useful. Was I not the one who bailed him out of jail?
OY
Perhaps it is my age. This generation is different. But one good thing came out of it. My son stepped up and took over. He confronted me and told me how I can help him and not help him. I really am so tired of carrying so much. This is ultimately his cross to carry.
I need to step back.
So I did what I do in times of stress. I tool myself out for a cheeseburger. A Double Whopper with cheese and extra pickles, as a matter of fact! And a Diet Coke. I sniffled a bit as I sipped it.
Then my phone range. It was Taylor Vegas, Assistant to the Intake Supervisor at Coffee Creek.
I told her I couldn't believe I got a real person calling me back! She was kind. We had a long conversation. She told me the other inmates were not supposed to "paper check". I told her I didn't know there was a word for that! She said he would probably not get his paperwork at Coffee Creek. She told me that many of the inmates did not have their papers. I explained to her how anxious Andrew had become about his paperwork. And how he does suffer from anxiety and hasn't gotten his meds. Although I told her now he is thinking he doesn't need them. I asked her if they did dispense them, if he could turn them down. She said, "Absolutely".
She asked about his charges and history. I told her that his charge was Attempted Assault 2, but it really was a bar fight. It was alcohol related. She asked about his DUI, which I told her he had taken care of. I told her about the instensive drug and alchohol probatrion program (DISP) he was in. How he was clean and sober and had a baby and a fiance. I told her he was committed to turning his life around and had agreed to already begin DISP even before jail - even though it was mostly a post release program. I told her he had turned himself in last Thursday. That he heard since most inmates come directly from county jail, they already have their paperwork.
I told her he was confused by the process, heightened by fear and anxiety.
At the point she told me she was going to go over and meet with him in his cell and have a talk with him. Explain the program and what he can expect. Answer any questions he had. I was so relieved!
It was an answer to prayer!
"Thank you so much!", I gushed.
She assured me he would be ok.
After we hung up, I called my daughter. No answer. I called my soninlaw. No answer. I called my mom and we talked. She was glad to hear the good news. But when I told her how I was stressing out the rest of the family she told me she was going to warn me. She thinks my corticoid nasal spray is making me too aggressive.
"At breakfast the other day, you talked nonstop", she sighed.
I told her perhaps. But when someone has a problem, I want to help. And I do research and I don't stop until I have a solution. Especially if I feel a loved one's life is at stake!
I know, I need to calm down. Finally I talked to me daughter. She wasn't so pleased. She thinks I may have caused more problems for Andrew in the jail. The other inmates might think he is a snitch.
OMGoodness. I hope tomorrow is a better day! And I hope talking to the Ms. Vegas is positive.
To be continued....
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